I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
