Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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