Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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