No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
