took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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