i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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