dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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