dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
