He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
did you just send me my own nude
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
