I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
