You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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