i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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