Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
