Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
