We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
