mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
