yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
