worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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