Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize