i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
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I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7