then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel