Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.