If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well