i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.