I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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