I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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