Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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