The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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