So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
this just has baby written all over it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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