i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize