Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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