we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
