U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
how drunk are you?
Several
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
