I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
