We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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