Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
