yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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