made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
