Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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