my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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