That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
