Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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