Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
