I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
