So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we're making bets on your personal life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
