ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I deserve this hangover.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
