dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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