Jerry, you need to find god
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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