in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
