I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
