So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?