Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
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"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
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Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.