i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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