1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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