Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize