I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
