i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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