I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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