I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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