this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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