someone threw a dead crab at me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize