How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
