Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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