I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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