I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
