just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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