Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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