fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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